Lolcows

Lol-Cow (lŏlˈkau): A lol-cow is a victim of the internet who can't help but be milked for lulz time and time again. They have a compulsive need to give up as many laughs as possible at their own expense despite themselves.

As I have stated before the harvest of lulz on the innertubes is indeed ripe. Amongst the greatest and most valuable sources of web-related hilarity are an elite group of people who have made the leap and forsaken all dignity in the vain hope of reaching celebrity status. Armed with a camera and an internet connection, these pioneers of lulz willingly record, edit and upload videos of themselves in various questionable scenarios, whether that be misguided pseudo-political rants or social critique in the form of a lip synced grime track about a discount supermarket.

As more of an observer than a participant in this epic troll-victim struggle, I frequently find myself wondering how these people are able to suppress the rational (and normal) part of the brain that fears mass ridicule from fellow human beings. Is the desire for fame powerful enough to overcome this most basic of human impulses? Do they briefly hesitate over the 'Upload' button on their YouTube account page and weigh up the inevitable consequences, or are they so far gone in their delusion that they genuinely believe they will remain unscathed by the lurking trolls? It is this extraordinary phenomenon of human psychology that creates the foundation of modern day trolling - it is only because of this fine balance between rational decision making and complete disregard for one's mental well-being that allows us - as the spectators in this twisted, yet hilarious game of tit-for-tat - to enjoy the feast set before us.

Presented here for your viewing pleasure is a hand picked variety of home-grown talent from the 'Tube - some merely amateurs in the game; others, seasoned professionals of the circuit. So without further ado, let the banquet begin:


LILSHOWSTOPPA:
NSFW: Contains swearing from an obnoxious youth, racial slurs and inappropriate social conditioning that some viewers may find offensive.




PAUL FETCH:
NSFW: Contains violence against mother's crockery, unnecessary shouting and repetition, and misinformation that some viewers may find offensive.



Had your head in the sand? Have some delicious context...


LILMISSBURGER:
NSFW: Contains unnatural cultural cross-over and gesticulations that some viewers may find upsetting.




YOUNGCONSERVATIVE:
NSFW: Contains opinions stated as fact, loud, shrill noises and attempted cross dressing which most viewers will find both offensive and upsetting.




YouTube has proven time and time again to be a bountiful source of lulz and a breeding ground for content that always seems to fall just short of the mark, which is what gives it such a distinctive flavour. For further reading, please click here. Put the work in, you know it will be worth it...